Three reasons our family sits in front at Mass

Tell me if this sounds familiar. You see a young family in the front of Mass with at least four kids under the age of six. The parents are strategically situated on either end to play zone defense against this passel of children. The two-year-old has a suspicious face, and the four-year-old won’t leave the baby in his car seat alone. Trouble is brewing. Well my friends, this would be the Wilburn family.

When I thought about the different ways my wife and I work to instill the faith in our family, one aspect stood out: we sit at the front of Mass. We don’t do this for show; if anything, we do this even at the risk of being on display. Our rationale is fairly simple. If we don’t sit in the front, our kids don’t get as much out of Mass. I would like to submit to you today three reasons I encourage my fellow parents to move on up to the front.

Reason 1: Being in the front allows you to point out what’s happening to your kids
Our kids are smarter then we give them credit for. My six-year-old can recite back to me the entire plot of the show he just watched. It follows that I also believe he’s capable of understanding our faith when presented through the story of salvation. If they get distracted, which they will, I ask them to find certain saints in the church. When the consecration comes, my wife always does a great job telling the kids that it’s Jesus who the priest is lifting up. It’s also been helpful to pick up kids books from Hurley’s or Holy Family Bookstore that specifically explain the Mass through pictures. It’s just another way for our kids to follow along and keep their minds on the liturgy.

Reason 2: Terrible spot, terrible kids
Imagine you’re three or four feet tall in the back of a church like Sts. Anne and Joachim in Fargo. The only thing you see is the backside of the person in front of you. It’s no wonder kids lose interest with what’s happening. The farther back we are the more squirrely the kids get. I know there might be some opposition on this point. You might say, “well, my kids already act terrible, so if we sit in the front, it will be that much worse.” I disagree. Even though I still have to take my kids out of Mass like other parents, when I bring them back in, they are up front. And, as I said before, being up front allows them to focus more. However, I will admit sitting in the front asks something more of you, which leads me to my next point.

Reason 3: It raises the bar for you and your family
My wife and I are not immune to the occasional tantrum overtaking our smaller family members. Sitting in the front of church, I know this is even more apparent. I see it as a challenge for me to expect more of my kids. Being in a visible spot, there is not the temptation to let it slide, and this benefits the children. They know that certain actions have certain consequences every time. You might be surprised how quickly kids stop testing the system when they figure out the path goes somewhere they don’t want to be.

I want to be clear when I say I am not advocating for the focus of your Mass to be on other people seeing you and their perceptions. It shouldn’t be. However, I do think a healthy parish is like a family. I find people in the parish give my kids more benefit of the doubt than I do, but like any of my other extended family, I ask my kids to be respectful of them.

Ultimately, we sit in front to give our kids the best chance of growing in relationship with God. In any other facet of life, whether it be sports, concerts, or talks, we always seek to get the best seats. So when you go to Mass, don’t make it any different. Get the best seats in the house. Sit up front.