Life as a Deacon in the seminary

Through the grace of God, prayer, and working with my seminary formators, I was ordained to the diaconate Dec. 19, 2020 by Bishop Folda. The whole liturgy was very beautiful, and it was amazing to finally give my life completely and whole-heartedly to God, a desire of my heart since my early days of undergraduate university. I have felt nothing but peace and a quiet joy since my ordination and I know now that this is truly what the Lord wanted me to do with my life. But before I can settle into our diocese to serve as a priest, I have one more semester to complete in seminary.

Life as a Deacon in the seminary is a beautiful combination of restlessness and excitement for the present and future. My fellow deacons and I have been in seminary for many years at this point (between five and seven years!), and we are excited to be ordained priests and serve the good people of our dioceses. We must temper that excitement, however, and realize that our formation is not done or else we risk getting what is known in the seminary as the disease “diaconitus,” the seminary mutation of the more common high school strain, “senioritus!” I must admit that striving against this tendency has been difficult. By striving against it, I realize that I am still growing as a man of God, striving to devote myself to my studies for the people I will serve in the future.

As a deacon in the seminary, I am often serving at the most holy Mass as a deacon and also exposing Christ in the monstrance for adoration. These are both amazing opportunities for grace and a very intimate moment with Christ. At first, I was very scared about messing up, particularly at Mass. I’ve come to realize that mistakes do happen. With this in mind, I know that the seminary is a place to make mistakes and learn from them. I am tremendously grateful for this because I hope to be able to be more comfortable at the altar so that both the laity and I can enter more fully into the beautiful mystery of the Mass. This is already starting to happen, and I know I need to be patient with myself. In regard to adoration as a deacon, I have the privilege to bless everyone in the seminary via Christ in the monstrance. It is an experience beyond words to do this. By the time the day is over, I am exhausted but fulfilled, knowing with certainty that I am doing God’s will.

I also have specific classes in preparation for the sacraments of the priesthood. These classes include a class on learning how to say and pray the Mass, how to hear confessions, and other liturgies that I will celebrate as a priest. This class is called Liturgical Presidency, and I am excited to start diving into this class as we begin practicing Mass. Another class I have is a summation course called Master of Divinity Integrative Seminar. In this class, we use what we’ve learned throughout our time in seminary to answer various pastoral concerns, and we all give a presentation on a specific pastoral scenario. I am excited about this because it will lead to good discussions in our class about how we can best serve the people of God in hard and difficult moments. One last class that is very specific to preparation for the priesthood is Church Administration, which is taught by a wise, elderly priest who has a wealth of knowledge about leading parishes and assisting them to grow and stay financially healthy.

It has been an amazing opportunity thus far as a deacon back at the seminary to embrace all my formation as I move closer to priesthood. I am at peace and filled with joy knowing that I am doing what God wants me to do with my life. I know that there will be hard days ahead and that “diaconitus” will be a constant foe that I will battle against this semester. However, I am reassured, both by my life of prayer and the prayers of all of you, that I will stay true to my time here at the seminary to become the priest God wants me to be for good people of the Diocese of Fargo.