by Brady Borslien | Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of Fargo
Growing up, Christianity wasn’t too important for my family or for me. Throughout my childhood, I vividly remember all the tactics that I used to get out of going to church, and for the most part, they worked. Between the stress in our home and a lack of interest to invest in a faith life, we became Chreaster (Christmas and Easter only) Christians. What did consume my time, and attract all of my attention was athletics.
From a young age, I was inspired to get involved in sports because of my dad, who was the president of our local soccer organization, and my grandfather, who started the radio station in Crookston, Minn. called KROX Radio. Because of their influence, all my focus and attention was put towards being the best athlete that I could be. I spent years investing in a variety of sports, inspired by the confidence that those two individuals had in me.
When I began high school, even though sports were going well, everything else began to fall apart. When I was a sophomore, my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and was given about a year to live. It also became apparent that there were issues within my family. In September of my junior year, my father woke me up at 2 a.m. and told me that I need to go say goodbye to my grandfather. I didn’t know what to expect. As I walked into his home, I was greeted by family and relatives in tears. When it was my time to say goodbye, I walked in, said a few words, and listened as he said, “remember me when you play.” Shortly after that, he passed away, and I lost one of the greatest men in my life.
After the funeral, I remember looking at a picture of Jesus I had in my room, and I asked him to stay away from me. I then proceeded on with my life and sports, until the start of my senior year, when all of the problems at home came to the forefront. Those problems became too big to resolve, and ultimately led to my parents getting a divorce.
With everything that had happened, and everything that I was experiencing, I felt lost. Even though everything externally was great, internally I was hollow and empty. As I was trying to understand everything as a college freshman, I came across a song by Christian artist Jeremy Camp called My Desire. I never listened to Christian music prior to that moment, but for some reason, the words of that song stirred a curiosity in me that became unsettling.
This is my desire. This is my return. This is my desire. To be used by you.
For some reason, hearing that chorus, and the rest of the song, captivated my heart, and I needed to explore what that meant. As my freshman year concluded, and I returned back to Crookston, I was invited by some friends to attend the Catholic youth ministry on Wednesdays called XLT (exalt). I agreed to go, and that became a pivotal point in my faith life. Even though I was not Catholic, some of my close friends were, and they were welcoming to me as an outsider.
When we began the evening part of the event, which included a keynote and Adoration, I felt out of place because it was foreign to me. When the worship band began to play, they invited us all to kneel for the start of Adoration, and I remember being utterly confused as to what was happening. As I watched a priest process in Jesus (which I did not understand at the time), I couldn’t help but fix my gaze upon the monstrance. As he placed Jesus upon the altar, I remember feeling an immense weight being lifted from me, and the words of that song I heard in college returned to my mind, “this is my desire, this is my return, this is my desire, to be used by you.”
After that moment, my life radically changed. I became a sponge and wanted to know as much as I could about the Catholic faith. All that time I spent as a youth focused on pursing sports had transitioned into knowing Jesus. Through daily Adoration, the constant questions I had for my friends, and the development of a prayer life, I entered RCIA and became Catholic in 2008.
Accompaniment is a big part of our faith journey. If it wasn’t for my friends, the parishioners of the Cathedral in Crookston, and my sponsor, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Their willingness to be patient with me, teach me, and correct me, made all the difference, and I am forever thankful for those moments of encounter and growth.