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New Earth Archives - February 2007 current Features in New earth
Sharing God’s gifts
moves us closer to serving others New Earth Columns
Let’s give
up something this Lent NEWS briefs
Events across the Diocese of
Fargo youth news
End
war against children
Bishop's Column
February 2007
March 2007
Walk in footsteps of John Paul II with Bishop Aquila An October pilgrimage, led by Bishop Samuel Aquila, will allow participants to walk in the footsteps of Pope John Paul II in his homeland of Poland and neighboring Prague. Reservations are being accepted for the pilgrimage to Poland and Prague, which will be Oct. 1 through 12. The trip, entitled “Walking Trails of Pope John Paul II/Diocese of Fargo Pilgrimage,” is being arranged by 206Tours. The all-inclusive arrangements include departure from Fargo with travel to Warsaw, SwiniceWarckie, Niepokalanow, Czestochowa, Wadowice, Zakopane, Krakow, Auschwitz, Lagiewniki and Prague. Poland is a religious and ethnic mosaic country where the Virgin Mary is the most sacred figure for the Polish people. Participants will be able to renew their faith together, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, symbolized by the Black Madonna of Czestochowa. The Black Madonna is ensconced in Jasna Gora, a place frequently visited by Pope John Paul II. According to Pope John Paul II, “Jasna Gora is the shrine of the nation. One has to come to this holy place to feel the heartbeat of the nation within the heart of its mother.” Daily Mass will be celebrated by Bishop Aquila in this Polish nation, beginning with the city of Warsaw, where our Lord appeared to a Catholic nun, Sister M. Faustina Kowalska, in 1931. The route from Czestochowa to Krakow passes through some of Poland’s most scenic country: the Krakow Jurs, the Pradnik valley, and the Ojcowski National Park. Pope John Paul II’s birthplace, Wadowice, which pilgrimage participants will visit, is close to Czestochowa. Krakow is a city of medieval and Renaissance churches, castles and stately homes. Pope John Paul II was among the alumni of Jagiellonian University, which was founded in 1364. The 13th century Wawel royal castle and its cathedral overlook the city of Krakow. It was from this cathedral that Karol Cardinal Wojtyla set out in 1978 for the Vatican conclave that elected him pope. The pricing per person for this pilgrimage departing from Fargo is $3,199 based on double occupancy and includes breakfast and dinner daily, daily Mass, guided sightseeing tours and more. Details are available on the pilgrimage Web page at www.pilgrimages.com/fargodiocese or by contacting Suzanne Nelson, Bishop Aquila’s administrative assistant, at (701) 356-7944. Those interested in considering the pilgrimage are encouraged to inquire about details and reservations by March 31 to help facilitate travel arrangements.
Diocesan reporting policy regarding sexual abuse The Diocese of Fargo is committed to the protection of youth. Please report any incidents or suspected incidents of child abuse, including sexual abuse, to civil authorities. If the situation involves a member of the clergy or a religious order, a seminarian, or an employee of a Catholic school, parish, the diocesan offices or other Catholic entity within the diocese, we ask that you also report the incident or suspected incident to Father Dennis Skonseng, Vicar General, at (701) 356-7945 or Briston Fernandes, Victims Assistance Coordinator, at (701) 356-7965 or VictimAssistance@fargodiocese.org. For additional information about victim assistance, visit www.fargodiocese.org.
current Features in New earth
God gives Sister Mary Emmanuel the grace to respond Editor’s note: A photograph from Sister Mary Emmanuel’s profession was published in the January New Earth. Here she shares her vocation story. Sister Mary Emmanuel Schmidt It is with great joy that I share with you a bit about how I came to hear God’s call to be a bride of Christ. My name is Sister Mary Emmanuel Schmidt. I was born in Rochester, Minn., and was raised in a small town called Plainview. I am the second of nine children and was brought up in a very loving, Catholic family. I graduated from high school in 1992 and attended the College of St. Benedict in St. Joseph, Minn., graduating in 1996 with a social work degree. It was at that time that I began experiencing a deep thirst. I really didn’t even know what I was thirsting for. I was dating at the time and my boyfriend, Jon, and I had been together for four years. We talked a lot about getting married. Jon was a great guy; funny, cute, athletic, polite, kind — he was wonderful. But I knew that once we got married we’d start having children right away and I thought I wanted to do some type of missionary work before getting married, so I looked into volunteering in a third world country. Jon wasn’t too excited about it, but he wanted to support me, and so we decided we would delay our marriage plans for a year. I went to Belize, Central America, to teach at a Catholic mission run by The Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity. I had no previous knowledge about this religious community. I just knew I was going with a group of volunteers from my college and that the Catholic mission had a secondary school run by volunteers. Belize is life-changing The decision to serve in Belize changed my life. For the first time, I was surrounded by people my own age who really, really loved the Catholic Church. I was with people my age who wanted to pray the rosary and go to Mass every day. It was in Belize that I was first taught to pray for what God wanted in my life. We’re always taught to pray for what we want. We are asked that all the time, “What do you want to do with your life?” My friends were asking questions like, “What do you think God wants you to do?” That really opened my heart to listen to God, and it gave him the “in” he needed to reveal to me his plan. It was about Lent 1997 that things really started happening. I hadn’t been to confession in almost two years. Our students were making a retreat and I was serving as a counselor. We had set aside time for them to go to confession, so I decided to go, as well. It was in that confession that Jesus spoke to my heart. I came out knowing I was called to be a sister, but I was scared to death. The only witness I’d been given of sisters were of women much older than me who did not wear the habit. I didn’t understand their life and I couldn’t understand how I was going to fit into that world. It all seemed very lifeless to me, very barren. But I knew I was called to a deep life of love. I knew Jesus desperately wanted me to not be afraid and to trust him. I waited a few months before I went back to Father Tony, the priest who had heard my confession. I didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want to break up with Jon. Father Tony helped me see that, even though I was in a great relationship with a wonderful person, if I wasn’t called to be married I wouldn’t be as happy as I could be doing what God wanted me to do. I also knew God would bless us both for this decision even though it would be very difficult and painful. Breaking up is hard to do Of course, I was still terrified, not knowing what the future held, but I knew I had to tell Jon. It wasn’t fair to keep it from him. So I ended up telling him over the phone. It was very hard and there were lots of tears. Jon was angry at first, and we didn’t communicate again until I returned from Belize that summer. My family, also, was a bit shocked. The first question most of them asked was, “What about Jon?” Everybody loved him and they couldn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. Women didn’t become sisters anymore, anyway, right? I prayed for a lot of signs that God would make it very, very clear to me what his will was. He answered me. He gave me signs, very clear ones. But, for awhile, I was in denial and no sign was good enough. One time I begged him, “Give me a sign!” and I went into our teachers’ room and picked up a Readers Digest from a box of donated books. I opened to an article called “The Bride of the Lamb.” Not knowing what that meant, I read it. The article was about a young man whose brother was dumped by a girl who entered the convent. (Ah! I wanted to scream.) It was actually a beautiful story. The young man’s mother gave his girlfriend her wedding dress for her profession day and he spoke of how he knew it was all in God’s plan for that to happen. But I didn’t want my vocation at that time, and even though it was a sign for me, I again just wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. God makes the way clear After returning home from Belize, and after struggling a bit more with whether I wanted to enter a community, God gave me all the grace I needed to respond to the call. I entered the Sisters of the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, the same sisters who were serving in Belize with Father Tony at the mission. I really didn’t know much about any religious communities, but I knew that God had placed this group in my path for a reason and the more I learned about them, the more it became clear that I didn’t need to look anywhere else. What’s unique about our community is that we serve in teams. We don’t serve with just sisters alone. We go to mission with priests, brothers, deacons and laity. We go as family and we strive to serve in unity with a deep devotion to Our Lady and the holy Eucharist. What more could you want? God was giving me a family in a way I could never have imagined. I entered in August 1997 and was sent to Rome in October. I spent three years in Italy; one year as a postulant and two years as a novice preparing for my vows. I took a year off to discern the married vocation. I returned and took my first vows Dec. 12, 2001, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. My first assignment was in Belcourt with the people of the Turtle Mountain Indian Reservation. I taught second grade for one year at St. Ann’s School and then was assigned as the vocations servant for our sisters in Dunseith. We also began an aspirancy program for women discerning religious life and I was assigned as the formator for that program until 2006. This past September, I went to our formation house in New Mexico to prepare for my perpetual vows. After three months of retreat, I professed my perpetual vows Dec. 12, 2006, in Dunseith. It was a truly amazing and unforgettable day. Most of my immediate family and many of my friends were able to attend. Joy is indescribable I cannot describe the joy that Jesus blessed me with on that day. I think it will be the most profound moment of my life, second to when I pass on to eternity. To be the bride of the Lamb — it is impossible to fully grasp. I know that the Lord desires to use me. I have come to be convicted in the fact that my vocation is not just for myself. It is for my family, my community, my friends. It is for the entire church. I share this with all of you to thank you for your prayers for me, which helped me to say “yes” — to say “yes” despite the fear of the unknown, despite the confusion of what it means to be a sister today in our world. We are all called to be lights to the world, yet sisters have a special role, a special vocation to go to eternity and bring back gifts for all mankind. We lift up the broken in our prayers. We bring healing to shattered hearts. We are Jesus’ message to the world that he exists and that eternity exists. We are the heartbeat of the church and the mothers of souls. If Jesus is calling you to be his spouse, there can be no greater calling for you. As John Paul II said, “Non avete paura!” — “Do not be afraid!”
A grateful spirit:
Mission trip to Peru inspires hope, despite witnessing the people’s hardships Father Ron Yee-Mon traveled to Peru Jan. 8 to 18 with priests and lay persons from the Grand Forks and Hillsboro areas to assist Father Jack Davis with his mission work. This is his reflection. “Courage,” I once read, “is not the absence of despair and fear but the capacity to move ahead in spite of them.” Of all the photos I took in Chimbote, Peru, this particular one [accompanying the story] strikes me as a powerful testament of hope in the midst of despair. Children seem to have that resiliency. A group of us traveled early in January from the sprawling beautiful colonial city of Lima to visit Father Jack Davis, a priest of the Diocese of Fargo, who has been working in this poor area for almost 30 years. Even though I had supported him financially for many years, it was the first time I met him. We arrived in this barrio nuevo, a polite name for an emerging poor area. The children were living in a “new invasion.” Invasion is a strange word to use, but that is the name given to describe newcomers or “invaders” in a vacant area of Peru. These were poor families who set up reed villages on government land. There were about 10,000 people in this location. We were thrust upon this family without fanfare. The poor have no need for polite introductions. Old reed walls had to be broken down and replaced. We had no time for revulsion and sadness. Our pope said this past Christmas, “Serve the poor to better know God.” Service in this instance had no time for the niceties of our modern world. Help was needed and we had come. The mother of the household was away working, we were told, in one of the world’s oldest professions. The semi-disabled father welcomed our help. We cleared old and battered reed walls and debris scattered in the back of his tiny home with its rough dirt floors. We were at first confused and bewildered, as curious neighbors gazed at us with our shorts and digital cameras. We seemed overdressed. This was no summer camp. The father complained of water running into his dirt floors. The source was a broken faucet. The new reeds, wire and poles arrived, bought by Father Jack from a local manufacturer. We five gringos set out to work while the four gringas spoke to the crowds of children outside. As we began our repair work, I noticed one of the gringo priests almost ready to vomit from the smells of the family latrine and the dogs running in and out on the dirt floor of the home. Bravely, he caught himself. Armed with spikes and poles, we proceeded to build two walls. Two farmers, accustomed to modern-day tools, found this a challenge to their skills. After we removed the front wall of the modest home, the three children begged me for a photo. Normally I wouldn’t. I believe taking photos of people in their poverty is offensive and robs them of their dignity. But the kids were pleading for a gringo photo and I reluctantly agreed. It was my best shot. I thought perhaps later I could use the photo to solicit funds in the United States. Those of us who have at least one hot meal per day are wealthy. Those who have nails on their walls are rich. Those who have cupboards or armoires in which to hang or store their clothes are well off. With $1,500, our host, Father Davis, can feed 1,000 people for one month. At least one day a week, some of the poorest of the poor can have a nutrious meal at one of the four soup kitchens in his parish. As the father prepared a meal for his three children over a small wooden fire, he was embarrassed that he could not offer the gringos even a glass of bottled water. While the children were jumping on their parents’ bed, the four gringas realized that they also needed a new bed. We had purchased 30 new beds made by the small workshop of Kelven, who uses pallets to create beds and eye-catching furniture. Amazing what one can do from discarded wood. The ladies said we could give two of the beds to this family. In the midst of this frenetic activity, a child came up to Father Dan Mrnarevic and said, necesito zapatos. (I need shoes.) Bewildered by a child asking him for shoes, he took her name down. Before long, children were surrounding him, begging for a new pair of shoes. After struggling to find more paper and a pen, one of the mothers began writing the names of the children and shoe sizes. Father Mrnarevic and I have known poverty in our individual lives from Croatia and the Caribbean. We both came from humble origins, but dirt floors and children living above them with all the diseases associated with poverty humbled us. We collected 92 names and decided the least we could do was to purchase a brand new pair of shoes for each child. Shoes may not solve all the problems of the poor, but for once in their lives they will have something brand new. The next day, accompanied by a local parishioner, we headed uptown and bought 92 pairs of brand new shoes. That is one of the moments that stands out from this mission. Only love can make the despair of life easier. I have learned much from this trip to a country that is so mesmerizingly beautiful. I would like to visit again and reacquaint myself with a people who have endured so much pain and suffering from the 15th century Conquistadores to the 20th century politicians. Of all the faces of hope and despair that have touched me, the most memorable are the faces of these three children. All children love to jump on their parents’ bed. They were no exception. We never hang up our clothes above our beds. We know we live in a paradise compared to many who are poor. Their voices, their songs, their sadness, their laughter are infectious. There is a song called “Parting Glass” that speaks about a man sitting beside the road and weeping for all the songs he didn’t sing and the promises he did not keep. Life is full of such songs and promises. Some songs we sing. Some we don’t. Some promises we keep and some we don’t. My promise to these kids is to not forget them. I appeal to all those who have one hot meal a day to consider sending a donation to feed 1,000 people for $1,500. I choose not to forget the children’s songs and laughter. Their chapels are filled with people with choirs that could be the envy of any parish community here. These wonderful people have courage and a capacity to forge ahead in spite of unbelievable problems. I have decided not to wear tired eyes of despair, for when one’s eyes are tired, the world is tired, too. Thankfully, my fellow priests, friends and I can honestly say we had a powerful experience. We now better understand the meaning of: “To serve the poor is to better know God!” Father Ron Yee-Mon, STL, is a priest of the Diocese of Fargo who currently serves as spiritual director at Lumen Christi Retreat Center in Schriever, La. Peru mission fundraiser March 4 at Nativity The annual fundraiser for Father Jack Davis’ mission work in Peru is planned for 2 p.m. Sunday, March 4, at The Church of the Nativity, 1825 11th St. S., Fargo. Father Davis is a priest of the Diocese of Fargo who lives in Chimbote, Peru, where he has served the poorest of the poor for the past 31 years. He was recently the recipient of the prestigious Congressional Medal of Honor awarded by the Congress of Peru. The afternoon will kick off with a craft sale and silent auction, followed by a question-answer session with Father Davis and Sister Peggy Byrne, who will share stories of their mission work. Refreshments will be served. All are welcome to the free event. A free-will offering will be accepted. If you wish to donate to Father Davis’ mission but are unable to attend this event, please mail your check to: Los Amigos del Padre Juan, 3601 10th St. S., Fargo, ND 58104.
Student team promotes servant leadership Now in its fourth year, the Deacon Leadership Team provides Shanley High School students with a year-long training in servant-leadership principles. Deacon literally means servant, and the Deacon Leadership Team’s mission is “to serve so others may serve.” The team strives to promote service opportunities and activities among the entire student body at Shanley High School, Fargo. The Deacon Leadership Team organized two activities for Catholic Schools Week this year. First, it organized a Jan. 28 forum on health care access and coverage and Catholic social teaching. Team members gave a general presentation on the principles of Catholic social teaching and then facilitated a panel discussion by local health care professionals. Second, the team sponsored the Third Annual Dodge Ball Tournament for Charity on Jan. 31. The funds raised this year by student-team entry fees will benefit the work of Father Jack Davis in Chimbote, Peru. A winter clothing drive for Sudanese refugees, a Thanksgiving food drive for the Dorothy Day Food Pantry in Moorhead, Minn., and assisting with a catechetical program for Sudanese refugee children are among the many DLT-sponsored activities during this school year. The DLT also has played a crucial role in the annual retreats for each class, through planning and set-up, giving witness talks and leading small group discussion. Father Ross Laframboise, school chaplain, serves as DLT adviser. Mike Hagstrom is the assistant adviser. John Huth and Wes Dessonville also assist with DLT supervision.
Education in the Catholic faith – the fruits of cooperation A little boy came out the classroom door and sat on the steps leading to the upper level of St. John’s School in Wahpeton. A few moments later, his teacher followed. Taking a seat beside him and folding her hands in her lap, she leaned her head toward him, appearing to ask him about what had just happened. Shyly, he lifted his eyes to hers as he responded. Their words quickly turned into smiles, they rose and walked back into the classroom together. Every stage of life provides lessons of give and take. Every challenge, every step forward, requires compromise and cooperation. The parishioners of St. John’s Catholic Church in Wahpeton have tasted the fruit of cooperation. The remodeling of their church in 2002 required sacrifice and patience. Today, they reap the benefits, enjoying, among other things, more space to gather within a warm building before and after Mass. Today, they are praying for and planning for another project — construction of an education facility that will be used for religious education, school, parish administration and other parish functions. “The church was constructed in 2002, finished within a year and paid for within a year, so that was a real blessing,” said Father Dale Lagodinski, pastor of St. John’s. “We depended on the grace of God to accomplish that. With this, too — this is an impossible task except for the grace of God. We are very hopeful. I truly believe the means are there, if we can accomplish the work of inspiring people.” The theme for the campaign is “Formed by God’s love, we form our children.” The proposed $5.6 million project would include 10 classrooms, a gymnasium, cafeteria, a central office area for both the school and parish and much more. “The gym space would be attractive, not just for the school and youth, but for events,” said Renee Langenwalter, principal of St. John’s. In addition, she said, the current school, which is across the street from the church, does not have a formal space for greeting visitors. The building is three stories, with the bottom floor halfway into the earth. That means visitors need to walk up the stairs and down a hall past classrooms before they enter Langenwalter’s office. The office for the school secretary, Renee Walter, is on the top floor. The stairs also make the school less accessible for grandparents and others who may wish to visit but have difficulty with stairs. Langenwalter attended St. John’s as a child. She worked there as a teacher and vice principal, and with the parish religious education program, before becoming principal five years ago. She remembers, as a student, the water damage that occurred in the school when an upstairs pipe leaked. Water was “raining down the steps and dripping down the walls,” she said. The damage was repaired as much as possible at the time, but residual damage is still evident. Cement is crumbling under the carpeting that was used to hide water damage in the school’s combination lunchroom/gymnasium. And paneling covers damaged areas of some walls. A quilt that proclaims “We love St. John’s School” hangs above the stairway to the gym’s coat room, hiding a ceiling heating unit that was installed after the boiler was no longer used. Despite its age, the school remains a vibrant, inviting place of learning, not only academics, but faith, as well. Bathrooms are brightly painted, rooms are clean and, true to the Catholic school tradition, images of Jesus and Mary adorn the walls of classrooms and hallways. Langenwalter said she hopes alumni will see the campaign as an opportunity to give back to the school that served them in their early years. Alumni were invited to an open house during Catholic Schools Week, which served as one way in which they are being informed about the project. Father Lagodinski agreed that alumni participation in the campaign will be important. “When I first came to the parish I was struck with the affection people have for St. John’s school, for the formation they were given,” he said. “And so we’re really hopeful that alumni will also participate in accomplishing the goal.” The schoolchildren’s comments may echo the hopes and sentiments of the adults involved in the campaign and decision-making. Kristen Anderson, a fourth-grader, said she thinks a new school would be “cool because there will be an elevator and there will be new rooms and it will be bigger.” But with every change, there is always a sense of loss, as well. Meaghan Cronin, also a fourth-grader, said she has many good memories of the school. The new St. John’s Center for School and Religious Formation would be attached to St. John’s Church, resulting in the loss of some parking on the west side of the complex. Demolition of the old school, built in the 1920s, would allow for parking across the street to the east of the church. Rick Kielb serves on the steering committee for the project and was also a parish leader for the church construction project. He and his wife, Vicki, have seen how lives can be affected by good instruction in the Catholic faith. He attended a public school and went to the parochial school for faith formation. Vicki was a student at St. John’s. “Because St. John’s School has had such an impact on our lives, we are working and praying very hard that future generations of youth will have the same blessing and opportunity,” he said. “St. John’s parish without St. John’s School is a thought we don’t even want to consider. However, this is a possibility we may face in the not too distant future, unless our parishioners, alumni and friends come together to solve the shortcomings confronting us in our current school building. Building a school in our parish will require sacrifice by many folks, but we believe in the goodness of our parishioners and those who have been impacted by our school in past years.” For more information about the project, call St. John’s Church at (701) 642-6982 or St. John’s School at (701) 642-6116.
Couple’s Marriage Encounter story began March 2003 Seven years we had shared between us, and it seemed our marriage was slowly going downhill. Three small boys and a baby girl on the way, and we found ourselves drifting apart. Life seemed to have taken its toll on us. Work, school, finances — the fun was gone and so were our smiles. We were lost in the hustle and bustle of this so-called “real world.” We talked less, we cuddled less and we laughed less and the things we did get around to doing didn’t involve spending quality time with each other. Late nights at the office, long hours spent with friends — time tearing us apart. Oftentimes, it was the little things that we stopped talking about that really added up to the big misunderstandings. Resentment and anger stored deep inside our hearts as our communication completely shut down. We didn’t “click” anymore. We saw an announcement in our church bulletin about a Worldwide Marriage Encounter in Richardton and I thought: “We should do that.” The announcement said that it was a weekend to encourage good marriages to find that “spark” again, not to counsel troubled couples. “Was our marriage ‘good’ enough to attend,” I wondered. After reading the announcement three more times, I called to register for the March weekend. We needed to do something about our sinking relationship. It was a three-month wait for us to get on the next available weekend and it was the longest three months of our lives. Our weekend arrived, we packed our things, kissed our four children goodbye, hugged Nanna and Bampa, and then drove to Richardton in complete silence. We barely looked at each other as we unpacked in our designated room. More silence, and then we headed out to the hall to wait. Our feelings were up and down all night as the presentations began. I remember sitting through the first couple of talks, thinking: “We aren’t supposed to be here at this one. This weekend is for only good marriages.” By Saturday morning, our uneasiness was soon replaced with determination. On our weekend, we learned how to deal with conflict, not avoid it. We did something that we never really knew how to do together — and that was communicate. We learned to listen with our hearts and not our heads. We learned about our personality styles and how completely opposite we were. No wonder it was hard to click. We stopped trying to change each other and we became more forgiving and accepting of our individual personalities. Our smiles came back, and we started to laugh again. We were able to enjoy the time we had. Our love was back. Our weekend was beautiful, it was life changing, and it was part of God’s plan. We renewed our vows that weekend, celebrating our eighth wedding anniversary, and we made a promise to love each other forever. After the Marriage Encounter weekend, getting back into the real world was not easy. Issues were still there, but we were given “tools” and an opportunity to start changing some things and we did. The rebuilding has taken time and we still have to work on things daily, but the love, the trust, the happiness that has been rebuilt is even stronger than before. Our Marriage Encounter weekend was a turning point for our marriage. It breathed new life into our hearts. Some afterthoughts — almost four years later: We’ll be the first to tell you that marriage is not an easy road. It’s a day-to-day journey that we must choose to travel together. We still struggle, we have our fights, but each morning we have a choice and we try to choose love. Tracy and I have been part of the WorldWide Marriage Encounter ministry ever since our first weekend. We attend weekends yearly and we want to be a breath of fresh air to our family and friends amidst today’s hectic world. We hope to share the love we received on our weekend with those we meet by sharing our personal story and encourage you to attend your own Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend. Joleyn and Tracy Larson are from Mandan.
Get keys to successful marriage during retreat weekend Here are a few things you may not know about marriage, but are so important: Periods of disillusionment are normal in every marriage. Keeping them to a minimum is what makes for a successful relationship. Our decision to love will help us break out of disillusionment. Today’s “Married Singles” lifestyle tempts us to put our relationship on the “back burner.”
To have information sent to you, or to have someone call you with more information, e-mail Mark or Mary Jantzer at jantzer@srt.com or call: (701) 852-6291. The next Marriage Encounter weekends are scheduled for:
For more information, visit the Web site, North Dakota Encounter: Serving the North Dakota Area one Couple at a time, at http://www.ndwwme.org/. Retrouvaille offers help for marriages Do you feel “stuck” in a failing marriage? In our society, with the pressures of conflicting demands and too little time, personal relationships are often taken for granted. Marriages can be torn apart by angry words and acts. When infidelity, alcohol abuse, or drug dependency is involved, the situation may seem even more hopeless. Don’t feel as though you are alone. There is help through a Christian peer ministry program known as Retrouvaille, pronounced Retro-vye, a French word meaning rediscovery. Retrouvaille helps couples understand that strong, caring and loving relationships take work. A Retrouvaille Weekend has been scheduled in Bismarck March 23, 24 and 25. Couples will experience the joy of learning how to heal a broken marriage, effective techniques of positive communication, and how to build confidence through mutual respect. Currently, married couples have to travel to the Twin Cities for this “lifeline.” The Diocese of Bismarck, Office of Family Ministry, will sponsor the national Retrouvaille Weekend event with ongoing aftercare support here in Bismarck. For information on this weekend, call Joyce at Office of Family Ministry, 701-222-3035. Registration is limited. Program participants are accepted only through an interview process which is strictly confidential.
Women
and society misled about abortion Recently, a woman called Catholic Charities North Dakota and asked: “Why shouldn’t I have an abortion?” She called during lunch hour when all the social workers and counselors were out. She wouldn’t leave her name and phone number, so her call could not be returned. I often think about what I would have said to her had she given me the chance. How could I have told her of the life-long pain and heartache she may have to endure if she has an abortion? How could I explain to her that she would grieve for that child for the rest of her life? If she let me, I would tell her the truth. I would tell her all the things that those who believe abortions are harmless don’t want women to know. I would tell her the following:
Most women, at some deep level of their being, realize that abortion is an act against nature and they must shut down their maternal instincts in order to carry through with it. They must begin to think of their baby as a blob of tissue that needs to be excised like a tumor. After the abortion, many women are unable to reconcile the fact that they were responsible for the death of their child and struggle for years with unresolved feelings of guilt and grief. If they have kept their abortion a secret, they struggle with their grief alone, compounding their feelings of isolation. In the first few weeks following an abortion, a woman’s mind is usually focused on the relief that her “problem” has been solved. Later, sometimes within the year, but sometimes not for five to 10 years, she begins to experience various forms of Post-Abortion Syndrome: i.e., depression on the anniversary date of the abortion; depression on what would have been the child’s birth date; auditory hallucinations of a baby crying; or, vivid dreams of a child in danger. Additional symptoms of PAS include: relationship difficulties, depression or intense grief, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety and panic attacks, guilt, anger, isolation, emotional numbness, bouts of crying, inability to forgive oneself, preoccupation with becoming pregnant again, and discomfort around babies or pregnant women. Healing is possible and requires the woman to counter her denial and admit that a child, rather than a blob of tissue, was aborted. She must ask for God’s forgiveness, which seems essential for almost every woman whose story of recovery I have heard. She must forgive others who participated in her decision to abort. Finally, and usually the most difficult, she must forgive herself. I often think of the woman who called our office asking why she shouldn’t have an abortion. I would ask her, “Will you grieve that child?” “Will you someday regret your decision?” “Will you be numb for years to come?” “Are you doing this because you are scared?” I would let her know there are people who want to help her and will walk with her on her journey. If she would listen I would tell her all these things. Then I would hope and pray that she would choose life for her child. If you are hurting in any way from the effects of an abortion, please seek the help of those who understand. You do have the right to grieve for your child. You also have the right to heal. Mary Jo Andersen is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Catholic Charities North Dakota. She coordinates Rachel’s Support, a support group for those who have experienced symptoms of post-abortion trauma. She can be reached at (701) 235-4457.
New Earth Columns
Let’s
give up something this Lent So, you’re looking for something to “give up” for Lent again, are you? Here are a few ideas to take us beyond giving up candy or desserts. Ash Wednesday this year is Feb. 21.
Bob Zyskowski is associate publisher of The Catholic Spirit, newspaper of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Bishops say stewardship equals holiness and saintliness “For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve.” (Mark 10:45) What is stewardship? According to the 1992 Bishop’s Pastoral Letter on Stewardship, a Christian steward: 1.
Receives God’s gifts gratefully. What is holiness? Section 2013 in the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, “All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.” All are called to holiness, “Be perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48.) “In order to reach this perfection the faithful should use the strength dealt out to them by Christ’s gift, so that doing the will of the Father in everything, they may wholeheartedly devote themselves to the glory of God and to the service of their neighbor. Thus the holiness of the people of God will grow in fruitful abundance, as is clearly shown in the history of the church through the lives of so many saints.” So, stewardship equals holiness equals saintliness. Many are great stewards. In fact, I truly believe everyone is a steward in some form or fashion. You may underestimate how your actions create love for the church. Let’s look at some loving Christian actions that make you a steward: Sharing
of time/talent. This is just a short list. There are many other stewardship actions you may be performing that aren’t listed above. May God continue to bless you for all the great works that you do. All your stewardship actions make the Catholic Church vibrant and solid. Henry Ward Beecher said, “Some churches are like lighthouses | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
